Understanding Friendship for Friendship

Walking  through the lane of time, our life changes making us change and changing our priorities too; Schedules fill up, so friendships have to shift accordingly… But we don’t have to change friends, If we understand that friends change.

Growing up with life, I’ve seen and observed that my nexus with my friends have and will be changed. This was not an instant realization but an experience that I came through. Humans are selfish species and will always adapt themselves and move for what they desire and their desires changes with the change in time and with varying priorities. This is so obvious. But, some humans chose to or know how to maintain the correct amount of spice in the relationship of friendship. There may be several people who claim to be your buddies for life, or BFF – Best Friends Forever what they say at times, but only a few matters. But, indeed you learn something from these so called friends. These so called best friends of yours teach you to differentiate between fake dummy friends and the real ones. No matter how much the number of your casual friends be, but nothing can challenge the way you feel with your core groups of pals/friends , the way like all your tension wipes out when you share your problems with them and all the depressive elements wipe out with just one tight hug.

But one of the facts is that even true friendships fade and eventually break. And it’s not necessary that a good friendship will need a good reason to drift away . Even a small lie is sometimes enough for the denial in friendship where the bond between mates is build on trust. And sometimes other threats like Ego, Self-obsession, Blame, Jealousy, Judgment, Neglect, and Non-reciprocation; no matter how these threat elements get involved, but sooner or later they eventually leads the friendship to end in demise.

But a true friend never lets any of these threats to demolish their friendship. He gives a thought to set things right and without any ego in between texts to his mate “what’s the problem dear, I don’t want us to fall apart no matter what the issue is. I miss you. Our bond is not so weak that we can’t sort it out”. If the other one responds frustratingly to avoid , he just asks him/her “Maybe I’m wrong,… but I m sensing that you’re trying to push me away from you.. I’m just saying this because I don’t want our friendship to get meaningless”.  Instead of saying “I want you to be there for me”, he just says ” I’ll be there for you whenever you’ll be in need, b’cuz you matter to me”. Sometimes one also lets himself be proved wrong though he’s not, just for the sake of it.

But If we feel we’ve owned our part, shown up with compassion and love for his/her own needs, and asked for what we’ve needed from the other and still do not get it – then it may be time to let this friendship drift apart . .


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